Being a parent or thinking about your future as a soon to be parent can be difficult, mostly when you have to think about how you will discipline/raise your kids. “Do I want to be the fun mom or the hateful mom” or “Do I want to be the cool dad or the mean dad.” You want to be able to raise your kid with the right set of moral and values while they also know that you love them. Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, came up with 4 parenting styles. These are styles that you more than likely fit into at least one of them. There are:
- Authoritarian parenting
- Authoritative parenting
- Neglectful parenting
- Indulgent parenting
Authoritarian parenting style is a more controlling and demanding parenting style. You have rules that are set and unchanging, which your kid must follow. There is no negotiating and everything you say is how it goes. This is the style where there is more spanking done by the parents. These parents usually say “my way of the highway” or “do what I saw or else.” This also shows how sometimes this parenting style can be more aggressive and full or rage. Some consequences for child due to this parenting style would be that they would be low self esteem, lack of initiative, and bad communication skills due to lack of communication from parents.
Authoritative parenting style is still in that demanding and controlling group like Authoritarian, but there is more leniency in this type of style. These parents want their child be able to practice their independence, but in small doses and where the parents are still able to control or put limits how much independence they can show. There is a lot more communication in this style of parenting and the ability to negotiate with the parent. Instead of the whole idea of “because I say so,” authoritative discipline using reasoning. They are more affectionate and supportive while they discipline. There are a lot of benefits to the child in this parenting. A couple of benefits would be more academic success which comes from achievement-oriented, are less violent, more cooperative with adults, and more sociable.
Neglectful parenting style is when a parent is not responsive in the raising of their child. They are overall not aware of their children needs because they are not involved in their lives. This can be from minor things to extreme. An example would be offering a snack for your when they come home from school hungry (minor) to not caring for your child’s health and eating habits at all (extreme.) Children with parents who use this parenting style are more likely to have low self-esteem, more susceptible to delinquency, likely to have an addiction, and increased risk of suicide behavior.
Indulgent parenting style is the parenting style where the parents are highly involved in their child’s life, but make few rules or demands. This is your “I wanna be your friend” parent. With being their friend means never disciplining them and letting them get away with whatever they do. An example of this would be a parent allowing their child to take a toy away from another child with intervening becuase they believe their child should be able to do so or that it is the child’s toy to begin with. Children with parents who are indulgent (other sites might call it permissive) are usually unable to control their behaviors. They are use to getting what they want at home, so they will expect when they are outside the home or away from the parent.
Based off my feelings and values as a person I believe that the authoritative parenting style is one that can benefit the child the most. Yes, it is your job as a parent to raise your child to represent the values you hold dear and to make sure they are successful, but you won’t get that by being their dictator. Children, starting from a small age, need love and support. At first the only way for them to receive that is through family. If they don’t receive it from their family then down the road they will have a hard time getting it from others.
F. (2017, January 04). 4 Baumrind Parenting Styles. Retrieved April 03, 2017, from https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/
Writer, L. G. (2012, December 27). Examples of Each of the Four Parenting Styles. Retrieved April 03, 2017, from http://oureverydaylife.com/examples-four-parenting-styles-1346.html
Santrock, J. W. (2011). Children (13th ed.). New York : McGraw-Hill Humanities.